Super Mom...

What makes any mother a Super Mom? I see that on facebook all the time when people are commenting on my status or pictures. I never feel like I'm a super mom, I feel like I'm just a mother doing what I need to do for my family and for my children and rarely for myself. I do the best I can when I can. When my daughter was born I thought it was hard just having one child, but God had a lot more in store for me. I ended up having twins and being pregnant with them before Olivia was even 1 year old. If being a super mom means having 3 kids under 17 months old, having twins, and watching your child go through heart surgery not knowing whether they will live long after they are born, and then watching your other child go through eye surgery, soon to have a second surgery, then I guess I am a super mom. I certainly don't feel like it while my 6 month old twin daughter Jordan screams (which is 90% of the day) or when my older daughter throws tantrums and stopped being an amazing sleeper. I feel like I'm failing somehow by not having a spotless house, and having a toddler that never stops getting into things. I do feel good knowing that despite Jordan being on IV nutrition the first 3 weeks of life and not being able to nurse till 4 weeks old that I am still breast feeding the twins almost exclusively and only having to supplement two bottles at the most a day. I feel good knowing that if I have to go to the store with all three children I am not afraid to do it and can totally handle it. I am afraid of not knowing if Jordan will ever need more open heart surgeries, I am also afraid that Corbin will need more than two eye surgeries in his life, but I try not to worry about that until it happens. God has thrown a lot of challenges my way and I wouldn't trade my children for anything. I love them sooooo much! Even if they are stubborn or colicky. Someday I'll look back on all the days I've cried with them or for them and cherish those moments. Happy Mother's Day Holding the twins together for the first time Holding Corbin for the first time Holding Jordan for the first time. She was 2 days old and had been taken to a different hospital Holding Olivia after bringing her home Jordan after open heart surgery

Finally did an actual workout!

After all the kids were in bed last night I was able to get on the stationary bike we have in our living room for the first time. It was tough because I'm too short for it, but I did the 20 minute workout and burned about 300 calories. Tonight I want to go for a walk/jog and burn off some of the extra carbs I ate at lunchtime. I admit that I was stress eating. Today has been rough because Corbin my six month old son decided to wake up and keep me up every 15 minutes for a few hours the last two nights, so I'm exhausted. Luckily I was able to get a 15-20 minute nap when my pastor's wife was here to help at lunch time, because only two of the five kids were awake. That helped so much. I'm running on fumes, but I think if I workout a little and not stay up till 11pm like I have the last two nights, then I should be better off even if someone wakes up too early (like 5:30 and 6 am) or keeps me up all night. I plan to weigh in tomorrow for my official beginning weight (hopefully I remember, I keep forgetting). I found a great recipe on 100 days of real food for a whole chicken in the crock pot and its super delicious and she also has a recipe for making chicken stock from the leftovers. I'm using some of the stock I froze to make rice right now, I'm excited to try it. Especially since I finally bought a bigger crock pot! Here is a pic and the links to the recipes. http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2011/02/25/recipe-the-best-whole-chicken-in-a-crock-pot/ http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2012/01/24/recipe-overnight-chicken-stock-in-the-crock-pot/

A very stressful day

Today has been such a long day. My husband and I are trying to figure out how I can keep babysitting and stay sane. He is going to take care of all of the kids for 2 or 3 hours on his 3 days off so that I can have some alone time. Whether it would be to workout, go to the store, get a pedicure (just found out someone in town does nails!!),get a coffee, read, or just take a nap, I can have some time to regroup and get away from crying babies. Anyone who has been a stay at home mom or even just has children will totally understand how hard it is to be a mom and be on the job 24/7. I love being a mother, but having 3 under 2 years old is very draining at times, so having even just an hour of alone time is such a treat.

A normal day for me...

I thought I would take a moment and give you an example of a normal weekday for me. So you can see exactly what my life is like these days. Normally my twins wake up first at around 6 or 6:30am and I tandem nurse them at the same time for about 10 minutes, then pump for 12 minutes give or take. Then change diapers and play and visit with them as long as I can before my older daughter gets up at 6:30 or 7am. Cartoons for about 30 minutes after diaper change for her and getting dressed and getting her juice. Then while everyone is happy I make breakfast, if not, then the twins go in their bouncers while I cook and do dishes. The twins nap about every hour and a half to two hours after they wake up so while I'm giving Olivia her breakfast the twins will go down for a nap, and I will eat, make coffee, then do ABCmouse with Olivia until the twins wake up or until she gets tired of it. The two girls I babysit come at 8:50am so I try to get everything I can ready before they come so they can have breakfast. So I pull out frozen whole wheat banana pancakes to heat up and prep whatever fruit and maybe some eggs or turkey bacon. Then they eat (one is 10 months and one is 2.5 years so I do babyfood sometimes too if she doesn't eat a lot of table food) The twins wake up about the time they girls are dropped off, so I nurse them both before or after the girls eat then change all of my children's diapers. I also get the twins in their high chairs and feed them baby food. At 10:30am after they have played the twins have another nap around then, and the 10 month old also gets a nap. Olivia and the 2.5 year old play, color, watch cartoons, or "help" clean or vacuum and have a snack. At noon everyone is usually awake and I do a mass diaper change after I nurse the twins and before lunch, so five kids=five diapers. Then I make lunch, I'm going to be trying to make one meal for all of use or at least the ones not eating babyfood, but usually its kid friendly. Around 1pm I feed the twins more babyfood, then try to get everyone down for a nap. My daughter has to be the most difficult of course. 3:00 the twins and Olivia are up so I nurse them again change their diapers, and let them play or hang out and give Olivia a snack. The other girls are usually napping until about 4pm give or take 30 minutes. I give the other girls a snack before they go home and change their diapers. They can be here till 5 or 6 depending on the day. 5:00pm is dinner time, the twins have usually been down for a nap and are sleeping or just got up. When they are napping I fix dinner or get whatever has been in the crockpot cooling for Olivia to eat and prep whatever is our side vegetable or whatever. We all eat and I either feed the twins more food or wait and give them oatmeal in their bottle. My husband gets off at 7 or 8 depending on the day. When he gets home or right before I try to give all three a bath, and get the twins a bottle and ready for bed. Olivia gets a snack before bed. Depending on the night Olivia goes to bed at 8pm (we start at 7:15ish because she takes 30 minutes to get to stay in her bed). The twins go to bed around 7 or depending on the day and how long their last nap was. At 8:30 if I'm lucky everyone is asleep and my house is a disaster! So I either say screw it and sit down and relax or I stay up until 10 or 11 folding laundry, doing dishes, and picking up toys. I long for the day when my kids want to sleep in, can help with chores, are out of diapers, can feed themselves, and help mommy in the kitchen :) But I also wouldn't trade any minute of this for anything. Every day is different and life can throw me curve balls. I know on Saturdays I load up my kids (takes about 45 minutes) and go to my parents for about 2 or 3 hours and let them nap in the car. I love doing that cause then I can visit and the babies have someone to love on and hold them. Thats just how my day normally goes, I'm sure I missed quite a bit. Please like my facebook page, I update that a whole lot more than my blog. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Laura-Kilian-Thinspiration/218396048241756

The camera adds how much?

Out first family photo was taken by a friend tonight, and I cannot believe how big I am!! The camera didn't add 10 lbs lol I felt like it added 30!! I am beyond tired of being fat!

So here is my goal for the next few days log all my food intake online and eat 100% clean. Then I'll make a small not too intense workout goal once I'm not eating enough to gag a large bear!

It's bad enough having to buy bigger clothes and pull out my "fat" clothes, but seeing it is a whole other story! I love the picture, but that is not the example I want to be to my kids! JUST SAY NO to the cookies and treats! Put down the second and third helping! I can do this!

So the picture of the drink, is an awesome pumpkin pie smoothie I concocted. My almost 2 year old is sooo picky since she is teething and loves this! It's about 1/2 cup pumpkin (Libby's canned pure pumpkin, not the pumpkin pie mix), 2 tbs whole fat Greek yogurt, 3/4 to 1 cup milk of your choice, 1 tsp pumpkin pie spice, 1 carrrot washed but no need to peel, about 1tbs agave, and as much ice as you want. Just blend it up! It's delicious!!