Getting my body back!

PMy twins will be 11 months old next week and I have very mixed emotions about the fact that they are both weaning themselves from nursing without much help from me. I'm sad because I am going to miss that special bonding time, but I'm so excited to be able to take better control over my appetite. Hopefully they can and will still nurse once or twice a day for awhile but I won't ever have to feel bad about working out diminishing my supply. 

So with that said I'm finally back on track.  At 245 lbs last week I am starting out with even more to lose than when I started almost two years ago. I am going to be eating as much clean whole foods as possible, and also keeping track of my calories on myfitnesspal on my phone. I need to make sure I don't over eat. 

Unlike last time I won't be doing a 90 day or 60 day program. I will be doing whatever workout I can when I can around my kids' an husband's schedule. I want to stick to and finish the couch to 5k program but have to be careful about it hurting my knees and ankle since I'm a lot heavier now. I will also do some T25, 30 day shred, and possibly some Zumba classes if I can make it to the class at the gym. I'm also going to use my new treadmill as often as I can.

So far in the last 3 days I've lost 2 lbs. so far so good. Wish me luck, it's going to be hard with a 2 year old and 11 month old twins!

Progress pic of my face, I need to take a full body one.

Dinner tonight. Baked chicken breast, corn on the cob, peas and carrots and roasted beets.

Feeling good after a break!

My day to myself ended up being about 3 hours to myself or a little more, but it was what I needed to get motivated and back on track. I went for a walk/jog and restarted week 2 of the couch to 5k. It went great and I think my ankle and my knees are ok for now, but I won't push it. 

I also got T25 in the mail and I'm super excited to try it. They are 25 minute workouts by the guy who does Insanity. It's going to be difficult but I'm so excited and am going to start tonight after the kids are all asleep and do the 5 day quick start and start the regular 60 day program on Monday. I can't wait!

A day to myself!

I am taking a much needed day to myself and leaving my husband at home with the kids. I've been stressed to the max lately waiting to hear when my baby girl will need a cath ballooning on her heart. I called the hospital and its going to be sometime in August but if I don't hear by Thursday morning I'm calling them back. 

My day off includes my breast pump, kindle, laptop, band of brothers on Netflix to watch while I pump, a yummy sprouted bagel with cream cheese, and hopefully a jog. I am enjoying the sun since I don't get out of the house when I'm babysitting and have 5 kids to take care of two and under. Now to take a few hours and breath and enjoy the peace and quiet.'

A bit behind the group..but still going

I decided yesterday to try a new group started by an acquaintance of mine who recently got her personal training certification and started a workout class called Valdez Moms on the Go. I thought it would be a great way to be around other moms and get some weight off so it would be easier for me to run. Well I was a bit confused or delusional in my thinking that this class wouldn't be way too difficult for me. It is actually a lot of jogging to a bunch of stations that we stop at (while pushing kids in strollers) and do different workouts. I have no problem pushing myself and doing as much as I can, but when it comes to jogging, there is only so much my almost 240 pound butt can do! By the time I reached the first station and trying to jog as much as I could, I felt like I may just puke. Then came the lunges...I HATE lunges, the sad thing is they are one of the best workouts ever. Here I am, sweating, panting, legs trembling, and feeling like jello while yelling for my daughter and the 2 year old I babysit to get back in the stroller so I can "jog" or more "walk/waddle" to the next station. It was an amazing workout, 4 play grounds as stations across town to jog to and workout at, and I felt totally worked out and fantastic after. I am definitely putting myself through the pain again, I just hope I can work up to jogging the whole time! As far as food goes lately I'm trying to get back to eating clean and having all of us eat clean, because I don't think eating the toddler's scraps and leftovers and everything else in sight don't make a very balanced meal plan. I'm thinking my daughter is beginning to look at me more like I'm a dog sitting there begging for her food and waiting for scraps. One of these days I'm going to be told "no begging" by my 2 year old. Its definitely time to plan ahead for my meals so I'm not the last person to eat. I'm going to start trying to plan breakfasts, lunches, dinners and snacks for the week for both me and my family, as well as the children I babysit. Then there will be a lot less chance I can go berserk and eat a whole bag of cookies. My husband is also finally getting on track with working out. I'm very glad, cause it will make him feel a lot better too.

Surviving my daily chaos!

I think my children are amazing beautiful little miracles. I can't imagine my life without them. That being said I honestly never thought I would ever be strong enough to handle the constant state of chaos my life is in right now. My two year old screaming and whining and dumping things all over and pulling things off the counter, and screaming and fighting nap time and bed time. The twins screaming and whining and crying because they are teething and just want to be held and have unsleep trained themselves and have almost monthly appointments to a urologist, cardiologist, an opthamologist...tests and scans. This mommy is exhausted. I finally started doing a walk/jog program and ended up hurting my knees so I have to lose weight so I can try again when I'm not as heavy. I try to enjoy every minute of my babies lives, but I can't wait till I can sleep all night and have them go to bed with out needing me here to help so I can actually take some time for myself and workout or go for a jog. I want to get this weight off once and for all, but it seems like nursing twins and taking care of my own plus two more is so exhausting and draining that I eat constantly and can't get out of the house very easily or even to my garage to workout. I know it won't always be like this. Someday my babies will grow up and I will miss this stage and wish that they were still small. I promise someday in the next few months I will be working out regularly and blogging a lot more often. Right now my attention is all babies and as much housework as I can accomplish which is never much. Hope to see you all soon!

Finally working out!

A week ago on June 6th, I finally started working out. This time since I have more kids now and a lot less free time, I'm starting with the couch to 5k program and walking and/or workout dvds on my days off from the jogging program. I've done the first week and just started week two of the program today! I have done it once before and forgot how much I love it. I'm starting over again after having twins in October and also an older girl that turned two in May. In the pics I'm 239.0 lbs and wearing a size 20 (old navy) jeans and xxl old navy shirts. I'm totally motivated again and am not going to stop till this weight comes off and I'm not going to let any little slip up no matter how big or small throw me off course, I'm in this for the long haul!!

Super Mom...

What makes any mother a Super Mom? I see that on facebook all the time when people are commenting on my status or pictures. I never feel like I'm a super mom, I feel like I'm just a mother doing what I need to do for my family and for my children and rarely for myself. I do the best I can when I can. When my daughter was born I thought it was hard just having one child, but God had a lot more in store for me. I ended up having twins and being pregnant with them before Olivia was even 1 year old. If being a super mom means having 3 kids under 17 months old, having twins, and watching your child go through heart surgery not knowing whether they will live long after they are born, and then watching your other child go through eye surgery, soon to have a second surgery, then I guess I am a super mom. I certainly don't feel like it while my 6 month old twin daughter Jordan screams (which is 90% of the day) or when my older daughter throws tantrums and stopped being an amazing sleeper. I feel like I'm failing somehow by not having a spotless house, and having a toddler that never stops getting into things. I do feel good knowing that despite Jordan being on IV nutrition the first 3 weeks of life and not being able to nurse till 4 weeks old that I am still breast feeding the twins almost exclusively and only having to supplement two bottles at the most a day. I feel good knowing that if I have to go to the store with all three children I am not afraid to do it and can totally handle it. I am afraid of not knowing if Jordan will ever need more open heart surgeries, I am also afraid that Corbin will need more than two eye surgeries in his life, but I try not to worry about that until it happens. God has thrown a lot of challenges my way and I wouldn't trade my children for anything. I love them sooooo much! Even if they are stubborn or colicky. Someday I'll look back on all the days I've cried with them or for them and cherish those moments. Happy Mother's Day Holding the twins together for the first time Holding Corbin for the first time Holding Jordan for the first time. She was 2 days old and had been taken to a different hospital Holding Olivia after bringing her home Jordan after open heart surgery