A bit behind the group..but still going

I decided yesterday to try a new group started by an acquaintance of mine who recently got her personal training certification and started a workout class called Valdez Moms on the Go. I thought it would be a great way to be around other moms and get some weight off so it would be easier for me to run. Well I was a bit confused or delusional in my thinking that this class wouldn't be way too difficult for me. It is actually a lot of jogging to a bunch of stations that we stop at (while pushing kids in strollers) and do different workouts. I have no problem pushing myself and doing as much as I can, but when it comes to jogging, there is only so much my almost 240 pound butt can do! By the time I reached the first station and trying to jog as much as I could, I felt like I may just puke. Then came the lunges...I HATE lunges, the sad thing is they are one of the best workouts ever. Here I am, sweating, panting, legs trembling, and feeling like jello while yelling for my daughter and the 2 year old I babysit to get back in the stroller so I can "jog" or more "walk/waddle" to the next station. It was an amazing workout, 4 play grounds as stations across town to jog to and workout at, and I felt totally worked out and fantastic after. I am definitely putting myself through the pain again, I just hope I can work up to jogging the whole time! As far as food goes lately I'm trying to get back to eating clean and having all of us eat clean, because I don't think eating the toddler's scraps and leftovers and everything else in sight don't make a very balanced meal plan. I'm thinking my daughter is beginning to look at me more like I'm a dog sitting there begging for her food and waiting for scraps. One of these days I'm going to be told "no begging" by my 2 year old. Its definitely time to plan ahead for my meals so I'm not the last person to eat. I'm going to start trying to plan breakfasts, lunches, dinners and snacks for the week for both me and my family, as well as the children I babysit. Then there will be a lot less chance I can go berserk and eat a whole bag of cookies. My husband is also finally getting on track with working out. I'm very glad, cause it will make him feel a lot better too.

Surviving my daily chaos!

I think my children are amazing beautiful little miracles. I can't imagine my life without them. That being said I honestly never thought I would ever be strong enough to handle the constant state of chaos my life is in right now. My two year old screaming and whining and dumping things all over and pulling things off the counter, and screaming and fighting nap time and bed time. The twins screaming and whining and crying because they are teething and just want to be held and have unsleep trained themselves and have almost monthly appointments to a urologist, cardiologist, an opthamologist...tests and scans. This mommy is exhausted. I finally started doing a walk/jog program and ended up hurting my knees so I have to lose weight so I can try again when I'm not as heavy. I try to enjoy every minute of my babies lives, but I can't wait till I can sleep all night and have them go to bed with out needing me here to help so I can actually take some time for myself and workout or go for a jog. I want to get this weight off once and for all, but it seems like nursing twins and taking care of my own plus two more is so exhausting and draining that I eat constantly and can't get out of the house very easily or even to my garage to workout. I know it won't always be like this. Someday my babies will grow up and I will miss this stage and wish that they were still small. I promise someday in the next few months I will be working out regularly and blogging a lot more often. Right now my attention is all babies and as much housework as I can accomplish which is never much. Hope to see you all soon!

Finally working out!

A week ago on June 6th, I finally started working out. This time since I have more kids now and a lot less free time, I'm starting with the couch to 5k program and walking and/or workout dvds on my days off from the jogging program. I've done the first week and just started week two of the program today! I have done it once before and forgot how much I love it. I'm starting over again after having twins in October and also an older girl that turned two in May. In the pics I'm 239.0 lbs and wearing a size 20 (old navy) jeans and xxl old navy shirts. I'm totally motivated again and am not going to stop till this weight comes off and I'm not going to let any little slip up no matter how big or small throw me off course, I'm in this for the long haul!!

Super Mom...

What makes any mother a Super Mom? I see that on facebook all the time when people are commenting on my status or pictures. I never feel like I'm a super mom, I feel like I'm just a mother doing what I need to do for my family and for my children and rarely for myself. I do the best I can when I can. When my daughter was born I thought it was hard just having one child, but God had a lot more in store for me. I ended up having twins and being pregnant with them before Olivia was even 1 year old. If being a super mom means having 3 kids under 17 months old, having twins, and watching your child go through heart surgery not knowing whether they will live long after they are born, and then watching your other child go through eye surgery, soon to have a second surgery, then I guess I am a super mom. I certainly don't feel like it while my 6 month old twin daughter Jordan screams (which is 90% of the day) or when my older daughter throws tantrums and stopped being an amazing sleeper. I feel like I'm failing somehow by not having a spotless house, and having a toddler that never stops getting into things. I do feel good knowing that despite Jordan being on IV nutrition the first 3 weeks of life and not being able to nurse till 4 weeks old that I am still breast feeding the twins almost exclusively and only having to supplement two bottles at the most a day. I feel good knowing that if I have to go to the store with all three children I am not afraid to do it and can totally handle it. I am afraid of not knowing if Jordan will ever need more open heart surgeries, I am also afraid that Corbin will need more than two eye surgeries in his life, but I try not to worry about that until it happens. God has thrown a lot of challenges my way and I wouldn't trade my children for anything. I love them sooooo much! Even if they are stubborn or colicky. Someday I'll look back on all the days I've cried with them or for them and cherish those moments. Happy Mother's Day Holding the twins together for the first time Holding Corbin for the first time Holding Jordan for the first time. She was 2 days old and had been taken to a different hospital Holding Olivia after bringing her home Jordan after open heart surgery

Finally did an actual workout!

After all the kids were in bed last night I was able to get on the stationary bike we have in our living room for the first time. It was tough because I'm too short for it, but I did the 20 minute workout and burned about 300 calories. Tonight I want to go for a walk/jog and burn off some of the extra carbs I ate at lunchtime. I admit that I was stress eating. Today has been rough because Corbin my six month old son decided to wake up and keep me up every 15 minutes for a few hours the last two nights, so I'm exhausted. Luckily I was able to get a 15-20 minute nap when my pastor's wife was here to help at lunch time, because only two of the five kids were awake. That helped so much. I'm running on fumes, but I think if I workout a little and not stay up till 11pm like I have the last two nights, then I should be better off even if someone wakes up too early (like 5:30 and 6 am) or keeps me up all night. I plan to weigh in tomorrow for my official beginning weight (hopefully I remember, I keep forgetting). I found a great recipe on 100 days of real food for a whole chicken in the crock pot and its super delicious and she also has a recipe for making chicken stock from the leftovers. I'm using some of the stock I froze to make rice right now, I'm excited to try it. Especially since I finally bought a bigger crock pot! Here is a pic and the links to the recipes. http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2011/02/25/recipe-the-best-whole-chicken-in-a-crock-pot/ http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2012/01/24/recipe-overnight-chicken-stock-in-the-crock-pot/

A very stressful day

Today has been such a long day. My husband and I are trying to figure out how I can keep babysitting and stay sane. He is going to take care of all of the kids for 2 or 3 hours on his 3 days off so that I can have some alone time. Whether it would be to workout, go to the store, get a pedicure (just found out someone in town does nails!!),get a coffee, read, or just take a nap, I can have some time to regroup and get away from crying babies. Anyone who has been a stay at home mom or even just has children will totally understand how hard it is to be a mom and be on the job 24/7. I love being a mother, but having 3 under 2 years old is very draining at times, so having even just an hour of alone time is such a treat.

A normal day for me...

I thought I would take a moment and give you an example of a normal weekday for me. So you can see exactly what my life is like these days. Normally my twins wake up first at around 6 or 6:30am and I tandem nurse them at the same time for about 10 minutes, then pump for 12 minutes give or take. Then change diapers and play and visit with them as long as I can before my older daughter gets up at 6:30 or 7am. Cartoons for about 30 minutes after diaper change for her and getting dressed and getting her juice. Then while everyone is happy I make breakfast, if not, then the twins go in their bouncers while I cook and do dishes. The twins nap about every hour and a half to two hours after they wake up so while I'm giving Olivia her breakfast the twins will go down for a nap, and I will eat, make coffee, then do ABCmouse with Olivia until the twins wake up or until she gets tired of it. The two girls I babysit come at 8:50am so I try to get everything I can ready before they come so they can have breakfast. So I pull out frozen whole wheat banana pancakes to heat up and prep whatever fruit and maybe some eggs or turkey bacon. Then they eat (one is 10 months and one is 2.5 years so I do babyfood sometimes too if she doesn't eat a lot of table food) The twins wake up about the time they girls are dropped off, so I nurse them both before or after the girls eat then change all of my children's diapers. I also get the twins in their high chairs and feed them baby food. At 10:30am after they have played the twins have another nap around then, and the 10 month old also gets a nap. Olivia and the 2.5 year old play, color, watch cartoons, or "help" clean or vacuum and have a snack. At noon everyone is usually awake and I do a mass diaper change after I nurse the twins and before lunch, so five kids=five diapers. Then I make lunch, I'm going to be trying to make one meal for all of use or at least the ones not eating babyfood, but usually its kid friendly. Around 1pm I feed the twins more babyfood, then try to get everyone down for a nap. My daughter has to be the most difficult of course. 3:00 the twins and Olivia are up so I nurse them again change their diapers, and let them play or hang out and give Olivia a snack. The other girls are usually napping until about 4pm give or take 30 minutes. I give the other girls a snack before they go home and change their diapers. They can be here till 5 or 6 depending on the day. 5:00pm is dinner time, the twins have usually been down for a nap and are sleeping or just got up. When they are napping I fix dinner or get whatever has been in the crockpot cooling for Olivia to eat and prep whatever is our side vegetable or whatever. We all eat and I either feed the twins more food or wait and give them oatmeal in their bottle. My husband gets off at 7 or 8 depending on the day. When he gets home or right before I try to give all three a bath, and get the twins a bottle and ready for bed. Olivia gets a snack before bed. Depending on the night Olivia goes to bed at 8pm (we start at 7:15ish because she takes 30 minutes to get to stay in her bed). The twins go to bed around 7 or depending on the day and how long their last nap was. At 8:30 if I'm lucky everyone is asleep and my house is a disaster! So I either say screw it and sit down and relax or I stay up until 10 or 11 folding laundry, doing dishes, and picking up toys. I long for the day when my kids want to sleep in, can help with chores, are out of diapers, can feed themselves, and help mommy in the kitchen :) But I also wouldn't trade any minute of this for anything. Every day is different and life can throw me curve balls. I know on Saturdays I load up my kids (takes about 45 minutes) and go to my parents for about 2 or 3 hours and let them nap in the car. I love doing that cause then I can visit and the babies have someone to love on and hold them. Thats just how my day normally goes, I'm sure I missed quite a bit. Please like my facebook page, I update that a whole lot more than my blog. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Laura-Kilian-Thinspiration/218396048241756